Joe Says

Gay Friends

Joe Says… “I want a Gay friend”

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I’ve got tha powa

At approximately 3:15PM today, I took out my last cigarette, split it in half, and threw it in the bin along with the packet.

That’s right, I have quit smoking.

I’ll keep you up-to-date on my cravings (if they come) and whatnot. Bo Selecta.

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In fashion this week

OK so for this upcoming Winter, this is what us males should be wearing as it will be whats IN and HIP:

• Long woolly buttoned coat
• Man-bag
• Beanies
• A general dark colour scheme

The coat needs to be simple yet stylish, you should try to acquire one which will provide adequate warmth for cold weather.

Slip-on shoes may not be the best idea due to possible rainy/snowy weather, so you’ll need to gather some stylish outdoor shoes yet have slip-ons for indoor piss-ups and whatnot. Just be careful when you’re wearing your slip-ons as they can become dirty and faded quickly.

Try new things, dare to be different, and good luck in finding the right winter wear this year.

Much love.

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Joe knows..

..How to get hammered.

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The perfect hoe

Now this, is the perfect list of all features a hoe should have to be the perfect hoe to their pimp daddy. Check it, homes:

1. She’s shit hot (obviously)
2. She’s slightly smaller than you.
3. She has all the right things in the right places, and of the right amounts (I’m talking no extra hair where I don’t want it..)
4. She’ll call you up at 3 in the morning begging for your manhood.
5. She’s available for your manhood to taint her at all times.
6. She never lies.
7. She never cheats, she just waits for you to cheat on her.
8. She doesn’t mind when you want to watch porn with her. In fact, she enjoys it!
9. She’s kinky, and up for trying anything. Without screaming
10. She’ll rape you while you’re asleep.

If I had a hoe like that, my life would be perfect. With my perfect hoe. If you meet the requirements of the list, then feel free to leave your name and number (and a photograph, no mingers) in the comments.

Bitchin’.

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Damn drunk

As we know, Joe likes to drink - but Joe knows it’s too far when you get accused of intent of bodily harm to a female. Joe knows it’s an over-reaction on their part, but when you’re drunk and angry because you get in between a fight between two other people, doing something like that is just gold for someone to pick up on and slate you for.

Now you’re an “aggressive drunk“.

And because you’re so angry about people thinking that, you’ll get SO drunk that you will become aggressive, and it will just get worse, and worse until people start to hate you for being that way. You know it’s going to happen, but there’s nothing you can do to stop it - you’d think you’d be able to stop yourself from becoming an aggressive alcoholic in the early stages but to be honest you don’t give a rats ass.. so here it comes. Good luck to you, sir.

Basically, the point I’m trying to make is simply be god damn careful with alcohol, and drugs (especially drugs - that’s bad shit).

Tip: Drinking is bad. But good. Use this power wisely.

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